A True - History of Cricket by Neil Walton
A True... well trueish... well... anyway, A History of Cricket
A short (just over 7,000 words) and excruciatingly funny 'history' of the game of cricket...
"Let’s get to grips with the modern game, the game I call Sticks and Twigs. Now, I know what a football is, and I know it’s the name of a game, but what is a cricket? Tis neither bat nor ball nor stump - is it? .
You gather together two sides, and place one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When they’re all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. On occasions you get men still in and not out. When both sides have been in and out, including the not-outs, this is the end of the game.
The stumps are the ultimate target of the bowler, and today’s modern stumps are fitted with cameras, in a bid to heighten the excitement of the very, very exiting bits. This doesn’t happen that often during a game, but when it does my God, it’s the most scintillating four and a half seconds of entertainment in an 11 hour game."
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Well, What is this thing called ‘Cricket’ and how did it start? If you would like to know the secret truth that has been hidden for ages... You are out of luck... but if you want to read more of Neil Walton’s completely irreverent and probably barmy history of the game, then...
Number of Words: 6500
Published: Apr 2015
Neil's books and profile: Click here